IN THIS CORNER, weighing in at 19 lbs and change, whose interests include chewing on flip flops, pulling electrical cords, and discovering new sounds he can make with his tongue, it’s LITTLE FRANKIE DEE!
AND IN THIS CORNER, weighing in at a svelte 16.5lbs, whose interests include terrorizing unsuspecting houseguests, reminiscing about the days in which he had the house all to himself, and licking himself in inappropriate places, it’s EM DOGGY DOG!
ROUND ONE: Frank nabs an early lead by putting Emmitt’s bed at his back. Emmitt knows Frank is heading for the dog bed (who wouldn’t?), yet he can’t keep an eye on the bed and the boy at the same time. Emmitt is increasingly frustrated and loses track of the prize, because he can still remember that only three weeks ago, Frank couldn’t so much as scoot a half-inch in a forward direction. Advantage: Frank.
ROUND TWO: Okay, so even though the rookie made it to the dog bed, Emmitt knows that a dog’s bed is his castle (or something like that) and he won’t let it fall to just any new kid on the block. Emmitt’s quick movements confuse the young grasshopper, who can’t get the momentum to hoist his jelly-rolled body onto the surface. Advantage: Emmitt.
ROUND THREE: Oh, what’s that? You’re both too tired to continue? Oh…well, this is highly unorthodox….but if you both agree…OKAY, mandatory rest period! Take five.
ATTENTION FIGHT ENTHUSIASTS: During the mandatory rest period, the fighters talked it over and decided to call a truce… and then they kissed and made up…
For better or worse, this is a pretty typical day in my life. I can’t really complain. It makes for good entertainment!
The Dixon Family 